Deva Premal has a request. She and Miten were refreshingly straightforward in an online chat from Australia, and now Deva’s concerned there could be misunderstandings about their “unconventional life.” WLT readers tend to be progressive and open-minded, so that doesn’t worry me, and in any event, we don’t preview interviews. Still, I feel an uncommon tug. And then I realize what it is. During our brief time together via Skype, the two were so warm and easy, unguarded and transparent that they now feel like close friends. How can I say no to a close friend?

This is the magic of Deva Premal and Miten, musical and life partners—they embrace us with their music and their presence, making us all feel like friends. If you’ve ever seen these two in concert, you were undoubtedly touched by their light, loving aura.

As we spoke online I was able to record not just our conversation but a video, so as I type these words, the pause function is allowing me to see a still life of the two—Miten smiling expectantly, relaxed, ballast; Deva also smiling but leaning forward, perched, a bit more tentative—in the spacious borrowed house that is their temporary home in the rainforest. (Later, Miten will give me a laptop tour of the house.)

The two connected 21 years ago in India, in the ashram of their guru. Deva, then just 20, had been an Osho follower since age 11; Miten (accent on the second syllable) was a burned-out vet of the music business. Their guru-given names are telling: Deva Premal means “divine loving,” Miten means “friend.”

Asked how their relationship started, the elegant, reedlike Deva giggles. A trained bodyworker, she offered him a session. Miten remembers, “We hugged at the start of the session—Osho was big on hugs, we were going through transformative situations continually, so hugs were very necessary and important for all of us, and they weren’t airport hugs, they were real hugs—and when I hugged Deva, I’ll never forget it. She’s a much older soul than I, and she felt so much more settled in herself. I realized she was going to be teaching me as much as I was teaching her. And that’s the way it is. As long as I do what she tells me, there’s no trouble,” he laughs, glancing over at her.

Deva was drawn to his “energetic healing, his musicianship and loving feeling.” But, she adds, “There were obstacles and other relationships, but it was all good because when it happened it was very unexpected and because of age difference (22 years) and all the little stones in the way (he smiles encouragement), that made me totally let go of it.” And then, “We became really good friends, and then it became a deep friendship, and it was surprising that it became a love affair, but the friendship remained.”

Miten was remarkably supportive of his beautiful young partner’s process. In the charged environment of the ashram there was significant potential for jealousy or resentment, but he stepped aside, realizing Deva was “a 20-year-old girl in a tantric experiment. I wanted her to enjoy, I wanted her to discover, so that attitude just blew away any barriers.” When Deva rediscovered the Gayatri Mantra of her childhood that brought her fully into singing, it was a time of unfolding for her, and, says Miten, “gave even more opportunity for us to continue to explore the unknown and not be afraid of it.”

Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) was one of the more controversial gurus of that era, but the two are quick to speak on his behalf. Miten explains, “I think every guru is going to be controversial in some way because they’re there to pull you out of your comfort zone. That’s their job. They seduce you beyond what you think you have, to something better. In Osho’s case, he really was irreverent. He liked the edge. He liked to pull us out on the edge and create situations that were uncomfortable. And because there were thousands of people there were bound to be catastrophes. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t good. Osho was no saint, but he did have a pretty cool vision.”

A quick online search reveals what the mainstream press reported: Rolls Royces, sexual escapades, rumors of tax evasion. Yet teachers come in all shapes and sizes, and Deva maintains, “It was just his way to push people away and it’s funny that he succeeded in that. The people who got upset or disturbed by it wouldn’t come, and that’s exactly what he wanted to create. It’s funny that people get upset when they get pushed away because they also get upset when they get seduced.”

Both shift and chuckle when reminded there was indeed a lot of seduction around Osho, and in fact, once again eager to avoid misunderstandings, Miten later sends me an email about it. But in the moment, although Deva detours here into movement and meditation, Miten brings us back to the sexuality for which Osho, it must be said, was notorious. As Miten describes it, it was “an amazing Tantric experiment where we were learning to breathe with the opposite sex, respect the opposite sex, to encourage the opposite sex, being encouraged ourselves to be free, to love beyond the barriers and restrictions we’ve been taught were the real thing. He gave us a whole new way of looking at life and sexuality. It’s been the greatest gift for us that we met in that milieu of freedom and respect.”

One cannot know or judge what works for another, and for Miten, the ashram experience was nothing but healing. When he arrived there, he says, “I was damaged, so I stopped playing and had a really beautiful experience of healing and just receiving music. So by the time I began to play again it was just to say thank you to my guruji, really, because he healed me. I never considered it to be anything like a career, I was just in service to the people in the ashram.” Gradually Deva began singing with him, and it was always for the meditation. Even today, they begin and end their public concerts in silence—no applause—to encourage attendees “to consider the possibility of exploring the space if you don’t clap. It’s about spiritual connection,” explains Miten.

After 21 years, they’re “still together basically all the time and it just gets more and more beautiful and easy,” Deva tells me. The lack of alone time might be difficult for some partners, but for them, “I think the music gives us space,” says Miten. “When you play music together you’re not involved in ego and personalities, you move into the music at a much more tantric level. So when we play concerts, it’s actually our deepest relaxation of the day.”

Every couple has disagreements, of course, but theirs don’t last long. “Even if something erupts,” says Deva, “we both know that basically we love each other. It’s a trust that we have. I don’t know if you can create that. I think it is just something we are gifted with. But if you can tune into that love that’s underneath, the stuff on top is really not so important, it’s ego stuff.” Miten adds: “If I were giving advice I would say be truthful. Because even if it hurts it’s the greatest gift you can give one another.”

Their interaction is seamless, they laugh readily and often, and Miten quietly offers a word when Deva (German by birth) occasionally grasps in her second language. The give and take between them is easy and warm, and their response when asked if they are monogamous makes it clear they keep their relationship fresh, not just with truth, but by continuing to choose each other.

“No,” answers Deva, “we have an understanding that we are not. We’re not using it, but we have an understanding that freedom is the key…” She hesitates, invites Miten to chime in, he doesn’t.

“It’s just a freedom that you don’t have to use,” she continues. “But if it weren’t there, it would be very different. And for me it actually has expanded the feeling of love, because if I am allowed to love other people too, I love Miten more. If I’m supposed to not love this person or not show my love to that person, it also limits my expression of love to him because he becomes like a prison warden. So whenever attractions happen it’s always made us love each other more because we respect and are grateful to each other that we can live like this. For us it’s worked. I don’t know how it would be if we were really using this freedom as we could, but right now it’s great to be together and have the understanding that it’s possible.”

Immersed as they are in music, what is their choice for intimate moments? “We don’t listen to music when we make love,” laughs Deva. By then, they are ready for silence. Other times, her preference is Sanskrit music while Miten is a fan of “the great songwriters of the ’60s and ’70s,” but somehow their shared iPod accommodates both.

Asked what they perceive as their greatest accomplishment, both cite correspondence from appreciative listeners who have experienced healing through their music. Even a quick listen to their newest release, Password, or any of their music for that matter, will reveal how easily that can happen.

It may be somewhat “unconventional,” but Deva and Miten’s life together seems joyous, grounded and healthy. With the divorce rate now at 50 percent, perhaps a little unconventionality is just what we need.

❋ If you liked this story you might also enjoy… ❋
~ Singer Donna DeLory Never Misses a Beat
~ Mark Whitwell’s Yoga in the Context of the Feminine

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