Giving to others is key in living a high-octane life because it takes the focus off yourself and keeps you from becoming self-absorbed in your daily drama. The minute you give to someone else, it has a sneaky way of pulling you out of your drama and recharging your batteries. The old adage is absolutely true: The more you give, the more you receive. Contributing to the welfare of others refills your own cup in ways you can never imagine or anticipate in the first place. But never give in order to receive—give unconditionally and be grateful for the ability to be of contribution to others.
Dr. Dain Heer, a good friend and an amazing healer, once gave me a brilliant distinction when it comes to the difference between being of service versus being in contribution. In one of the many interviews I did with Dain, he suggested that being of service indicates you are a servant, whereas being in contribution is giving graciously and unconditionally. This changed the way I use those words forever.
I was physically exhausted after a very long day recently, and I still wanted to go see my parents. A couple of friends who were trying to sell their home needed some help, so before I left, my husband Jon, of course knowing I work with the principles of manifestation, asked, “Could you just talk to them for a few minutes about their house and explain how they can create the outcome they desire?” I didn’t hesitate because our friends were a little stuck—and in return, 10 minutes of talking to them re-energized me in a way I never could have predicted. It was really validating and exciting to be a part of this conversation, while it also felt good physically and emotionally to leave my issues behind for a moment and focus on someone else. Our conversation helped sustain me on my long drive to see my mom and dad.
On another occasion, a friend called late in the day to tell me about a problem she was having with her daughter, who kept talking back and acting out in disrespectful ways. I gave this mom the validation she needed, and suddenly all of my overwhelming thoughts about writing radio scripts and setting up meetings for the following day seemed to evaporate. I hung up the phone feeling like I could start another day, and felt that good because I knew I was of some help.
There are people who will say, “How can I help others when I have so much on my own plate?” I tend to be the opposite. My mother-in-law often tells me, “You’re doing too much. You’re overcommitting yourself.” She’s right in suggesting that it’s absolutely necessary to learn the art of saying no, and I am trying to do that. That’s tough for a people pleaser like me who wants to help everyone for the sheer joy of doing it. Again, it’s about finding a balance between helping others and asking for help, which is something I am gradually learning to do.
Adapted from Becoming Aware: How to Repattern Your Brain and Revitalize Your Life by Lisa Garr (Hay House), who hosts the Aware Show twice weekly on KPFK 90.7 FM and once a week on KTLK AM 1150.
