Following Intuition

My external world looked pretty perfect. At 28, I ran a $500m VC fund for a large media company in NYC. Soon after, I was engaged to one of New York’s top bachelors. I lived in a loft in Soho. I had a cool life — everything my education had told me to go after.

And I was the least happy I’d ever been.

While my external life looked amazing, my internal life was empty. I was disconnected from my own truth.

I knew exactly what was going on. I had learnt to turn a part of me off. I called this “my inner microphone.” It had been telling me the truth for a while … pretty much every morning.

“Ariane, you’re in the wrong job. Ariane, you’re sleeping with the wrong guy. Ariane, you’ve got to lose weight.” (I was 50 pounds overweight.)

But like most of us, for me to survive, I turned that inner voice as low as I could. Probably a 2. I had to keep this life going. Keep it all together. I trusted my mind more than myself.

But, you can never really turn it completely down. Your body doesn’t like lying to itself, so it keeps trying to wake you up over and over. Finally, you listen. You either make a change or life appears to force one upon you.

I grew up in a family that required me to be perfect on the outside. I knew about competition, achievement, and comparison. I did everything to get love and approval. I attended top universities. I was supremely well educated from the neck up.

When I began reading self-help books at 16, I was surprised to learn that there were ways to be happy and create an incredible life — an inner life! In the next few decades, I met experts, went to workshops, and learnt about healthy relationships, taking care of my body, forgiving and contributing to others, and the spiritual path.

In 2001, I finally turned that inner microphone way up and let it lead the way. I quit the big job, ended the relationship, and left NYC.

Having two versions of myself had been exhausting.

In the following years, I explored why people change and why adults are so empty of basic life skills. I wrote books, created apps, coached, and spoke publicly.

Why are we so insecure despite educational, professional, even personal success? So many of us wonder if we are good enough. The most successful people I know hide this question deep within.

Maybe insecurity is because the inside has never been valued the same as the external. We never got praise, degrees, or money for using our intuition.

So many of our moments of pain and suffering have happened when we’ve ignored our intuition. I’ve coached CEOs who made bad decisions because they didn’t listen to that inner voice. I’ve met people who knew they were marrying the wrong partner or buying the wrong apartment but plunged forward anyway. They always say: a part of me knew, and I didn’t trust it.

What is your inner microphone waking you up with every morning? What is it asking you to do or change? What have you tried to silence for too long now?

Do you need to make a change in your relationship? Your job? Your health?

Pushing away your one source of truth — your body and your intuition — drains your emotional, creative, and spiritual energy. It’s always there trying to help you, to get your attention, however uncomfortable it may sound.

What would your life look like if you followed that inner microphone?

All change requires courage. And all change is about trusting the unknown, despite the fear that comes with it. Give yourself the gift of true freedom and watch the magic that follows!

Ariane de Bonvoisin is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur, who is passionate about life skills for grown-ups and kids. She has written several books and recently published a trilogy of kids’ books, Giggles and Joy: Spiritual Life Lessons for Kids. Visit www.arianestudio.com.